February 21, 2017
We continue looking at the special relationship. The special love relationship is the one that is the most deceiving. We must first realize that all special relationships involve a great deal of pain. If we are experiencing pain in any relationship, we can be sure that there is some aspect of specialness to that relationship we need to look at. If there is pain, healing is needed. Anxiety, despair, guilt and attack all enter into a special relationship, yet there are also periods where they appear to be gone and we have a sense of temporary peace for a time. But the sense of peace is at best temporary without a real healing of the relationship taking place. Whatever form pain takes in a special relationship, they are all an attack on the self to make the other feel guilty. In this aspect, we always sabotage our special relationships, making them blow up in our face. We will always find disappointment in special relationships.
Very simply, the attempt to make guilty is always directed against God. For the ego would have you see God, and God alone, as guilty, leaving the Us open to attack and unprotected from it. The special love relationship is the ego’s chief weapon for keeping you from Heaven. It does not appear to be a weapon, but if you consider how you value it and why, you will realize what it must be. T-16.V.2:1-4
The special love relationship is the ego’s most treasured gift, having the most appeal to those unwilling to relinquish guilt. The “dynamics” of the egoic thought system are clearest here. The fantasies that center around the special love relationship are often quite overt. Here they are judged to be acceptable and even natural. No one considers it bizarre to love and hate together, and even those who believe that hate is sin merely feel guilty, but do not correct it. This is the “natural” condition of the separation, and those who learn that it is not natural at all seem to be the unnatural ones. For this world is the opposite of Heaven, this world being made to be its opposite, and everything in this world takes a direction exactly opposite of what is true. In Heaven, where the meaning of love is known, love is the same as union. Here, where the illusion of love is accepted in love’s place, love is perceived as separation and exclusion.
It is in the special relationship, born of the hidden wish for special love from God, that the ego’s hatred triumphs. For the special relationship is the renunciation of the Love of God, and the attempt to secure for the self the specialness that God denies. The reality of Love is in union, but the effect of special love is separation. No one can have union and separation together. They are polar opposites and thus special love blocks our awareness of Heaven where real Love is all.
To everyone Heaven is completion. There can be no disagreement on this, because both the ego and the Holy Spirit accept it. They are, however, in complete disagreement on what completion is, and how it is accomplished. The Holy Spirit knows that completion lies first in union, and then in the extension of union. To the ego completion lies in triumph, and in the extension of the “victory” even to the final triumph over God. In this it sees the ultimate freedom of the self, for nothing would remain to interfere with the ego. This is its idea of Heaven. And therefore union, which is a condition in which the ego cannot interfere, must be hell. T-16.V.5:1-8
The egoic thought system’s triumph over God is its triumph over your awareness of who you really are. The special love relationship is its way to keep us aligned with the mistaken idea of separation, keeping us from the awareness of our completion. It is our choice for completion, whether now or later, to leave the special love relationship behind and enter into the awareness of Heaven on earth and the awareness of who we really are. Make your choice sooner rather than later and step into the awareness of your completion;
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